I love my family. The sweet intimate moments that only we get to share in. The ones that I can’t really capture in a picture or video. Her sleepy breaths, her tickle monster giggles, the way her cheeks get red after laughing for too long, the smell on the top of her head, and especially her little arms wrapped around my neck. These are things I wish I could keep in a box forever.
But sometimes, a lot of the time, I forget those things.
Carlos was home sick Tuesday from work so PJ and I got to spend a little more time than normal with him for a Monday. It was nice having him around even if he wasn’t feeling so hot. Luckily we’ll have him around a lot more now that he was able to change his work schedule.
Tuesday night as we were getting PJ ready for bed Carlos and her started playing hide and go seek. It’s her favorite game to play, especially with her daddy as he comes up with elaborate places to hide. As they started playing I was on the computer checking God knows what completely missing this heartwarming moment taking place between my daughter and her father. I was so enraptured by some bullcrap on the internet that I wasn’t taking part in a sweet and rare moment with my family.
It wasn’t until I heard Paloma screech with joy that I jolted from my daze and noticed what I was missing out on. My back was/is still hurting from the sciatica so I didn’t chase after her but I closed the computer and stood there, watching my husband chase after Paloma for twenty minutes. While watching them I couldn’t help but start thinking that she won’t be this small forever. There will come a point where she won’t want to hug or snuggle me. It hurts thinking that one day we’ll reach that point in our journey as parents.
With all these advancements in technology we’re so caught up in capturing the moment that we’re forgetting to actually LIVE in the moment.It makes me sad and I try to justify my technology obsession with her inevitable growing up but it’s just crap. I’m making it my goal to start focusing on being more present, mentally, in my daughters life. Stop focusing on whether or not she’ll have a picture of her playing with a ball or her blocks, rather making it a point to be part of those memories for her.